Closing the Book

One lesson I’ve learned recently is always be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it. I always ask the universe to provide me with lessons and challenges to allow me to grow, but I haven’t been so welcoming of these challenges once they arrive. I struggle to smile through stressful times, often complaining and wishing things could be better, but when are we ever at a place where things can’t get better? This journey isn’t over til it’s over, and I’m certainly not ready for it to end. I was writing in my journal last night, filling in the final page of the book, when I got really emotional realizing that I was once again leaving behind something and moving on to another leg of this journey. I started writing in the journal over two years ago, having completed one other before this one, so once I finished writing I went back and looked through a lot of the pages, particularly ones right at the beginning of my path. It helped me to see how much I’ve changed, but even more so it reminded me of how much has remained the same. I would write down how stressed I was, how depressed I felt, how much I wished life was easier. But wouldn’t you know, my life IS easier today than it was back then, and all those struggles I felt were too much to handle, I handled them pretty well. I can’t complain when life gets a little tough, because I don’t care what anybody says… it ALWAYS gets better! It doesn’t mean I won’t encounter more challenges ahead, but with the strength that I’ve gained from the past, it prepares for what lies ahead. That’s what this journey is all about; evolving.

I closed my journals and put them back on the shelf, then opened up a new blank book that I’ll use to record this next season of life. Opening up a blank book and seeing nothing but clean empty pages is always a little scary for me. It’s a lot like starting down a road that has no signs, but you just start walking and see where it leads. I sat in quiet meditation for a few minutes, listening for any guidance or a sense of comfort, and then I pulled out a couple of my oracle decks to do a quick reading. The voices that came through the cards, were none other than the spirits that have been with me all along, telling me that I’m not alone and they will continue to be with me on this journey. I’ve got a few deities that I’ve connected with, that span across multiple pantheons and cultures, but in this moment they all surrounded me together to give me comfort and a feeling of protection. I know that I’m not alone, and that I have strength within me that is always available when I need it. I’m still feeling called to begin a year and a day, which I plan on starting soon. I feel like this new year will have a lot of great things in store.