As September has rolled into October, the darkness continues to grow leading up to Samhain. Each year as the wheel turns to this season, I’m learning to not be so afraid of the dark anymore, but to embrace the deep lessons that lie within. The green leaves change to red, yellow, and orange, a sign that winter is right around the corner. A lesson in letting go of the old, and holding on to those things that help us survive through the cold dark winter. There’s nothing to fear in the dark, except the shadows that we must face within ourselves. The darkness removes distractions, and forces me to face myself; nobody but me. This is where I thrive. I’ve always loved the darker months of the year, and the holidays that mark these special moments of transition and initiation. The excitement I feel within is evident by my need to decorate my home and to immerse myself in the spirit of the season. Samhain marks the final death; a sacrifice of the old, and an initiation into the dark womb of the Goddess. She is the great mother and the source of all life. It’s a return to the primal state, stripping away all that is rotted and dead, in preparation for a new birth. Nothing can remain but the pure essence within our core. Halloween is the witch’s holiday, instilling fear in those that do not understand, but giving joy and excitement to those who partake of this magical time of year. The carving of pumpkins, the soft glow of candles, the ghouls and skeletons we hang in our homes, all serve as reminders of the mystery and magic that is all around us. Even non-believers feel a sense of the supernatural when the cool breeze blows under the full moon. Halloween is a time when I truly feel myself, and as each passing year comes and goes, I’m left with a new understanding of who I am, and I’m reassured that magic is real.
It’s been almost two months since I decided to put witchcraft aside and continue expanding my studies, but I can’t ignore the yearning in my heart to return to the path that pulls at my heart. Last night I pulled out my Tarot cards to receive any welcomed advice from them, and they were eager to answer me. The first card I pulled was the 4 of Swords, and I immediately realized that it was time to put all these worries to rest. A spiritual path can have moments of confusion, but my mind shouldn’t be cluttered with the stresses I’ve been carrying around lately. My next step was clear, knowing that I have to lay it all on the table and give up whatever is weighing me down. The next card I pulled was the 8 of Wands. This card has always been a difficult one for me to read, but in referencing my Tarot book the keywords “momentum” and “flow” stuck out to me. I then realized that once I lay all these worries and thoughts aside, only then will I be able to flow with the current of my path leading me forward. I pulled the third card, and there She was.. the Queen of Cups. Now I know that there are so many ways to interpret the Court cards in the Tarot, and I see the validity in most of them, but the Queen of Cups has always been my direct connection with the Goddess. I can’t explain it, it’s just one of those personal things, but I always know she’s around when I pull that card. I immediately felt at peace, knowing that she’s been with me all along, and that I never was too far away from home. My studies in magic and hermeticism will most definitely continue, but I just need a little more paganism back in my life.